Have you ever felt the real meaning when you say I feel lost? Right now, I feel it in my bones - big time! I’m tired of hiding this part of me just to go on with life. I’m coming out now. No pretentions.
I am aware that a lot of people may have greater problems than mine and I should feel better! Of course, I am thankful for my life in general…but I think I shouldn’t feel guilty if I say, I, too, have my share of troubles. I reckon that this isn’t about comparing who got the biggest or mundane worries because life is an individual journey. Hence, let me feel what I feel. Let me face my worries. Let me be myself.
So, what is really my problem?
I don’t really know. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know where I am going. I just don’t know. That’s it! I’m lost – in the real sense of the word.
There is one thing I know for sure though – to end this feeling. But how??? There, I’m lost again.
Where is this feeling coming from? There must be a root cause for all these. Is it because I am not happy at work?
Ok, let’s talk about work. Work is not an option for most of us who weren’t born with huge trust fund or something like that. It is a must. No work, no living. However, as of the moment, I ,by chance, have an option not to work. We don’t have kids yet and hubby is earning enough for both of us…So, why don’t I resign then? Pleeeaasseee…I’ve been wanting to do that but I don’t want to do it hastily. I’ve been seriously considering many things. Surely, I can resign from this work if I want to…and then what? There’s my question again. You see, I don’t want to apply randomly to any jobs available. I wish to know what I want to do and where I am going first or else I’ll most probably end up with a predicament like this again.
My CV has a history of career changes already and I don’t want to create the impression that I’m job hopping up to now. Yet, I don’t know if it’s even right to take the time off to sort things out and know what I truly want. There isn’t an assurance that if I hibernate, I will know what I want…and there’s the question of how long would it take for me to find out. What kind of impression would that leave my CV if I don’t work for a time? **sigh**
I'm sooo clueless...
I am aware that a lot of people may have greater problems than mine and I should feel better! Of course, I am thankful for my life in general…but I think I shouldn’t feel guilty if I say, I, too, have my share of troubles. I reckon that this isn’t about comparing who got the biggest or mundane worries because life is an individual journey. Hence, let me feel what I feel. Let me face my worries. Let me be myself.
So, what is really my problem?
I don’t really know. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know where I am going. I just don’t know. That’s it! I’m lost – in the real sense of the word.
There is one thing I know for sure though – to end this feeling. But how??? There, I’m lost again.
Where is this feeling coming from? There must be a root cause for all these. Is it because I am not happy at work?
Ok, let’s talk about work. Work is not an option for most of us who weren’t born with huge trust fund or something like that. It is a must. No work, no living. However, as of the moment, I ,by chance, have an option not to work. We don’t have kids yet and hubby is earning enough for both of us…So, why don’t I resign then? Pleeeaasseee…I’ve been wanting to do that but I don’t want to do it hastily. I’ve been seriously considering many things. Surely, I can resign from this work if I want to…and then what? There’s my question again. You see, I don’t want to apply randomly to any jobs available. I wish to know what I want to do and where I am going first or else I’ll most probably end up with a predicament like this again.
My CV has a history of career changes already and I don’t want to create the impression that I’m job hopping up to now. Yet, I don’t know if it’s even right to take the time off to sort things out and know what I truly want. There isn’t an assurance that if I hibernate, I will know what I want…and there’s the question of how long would it take for me to find out. What kind of impression would that leave my CV if I don’t work for a time? **sigh**
I'm sooo clueless...
No comments:
Post a Comment