Tuesday, September 16, 2008

My swallowing blues and first ambulance ride

Last week, after taking a large tablet, I felt it “stuck” in my chest. I have had a tablet-gagging experience before but not like this. This time, it was intense and progressing... As time passed, the pain increased and radiated to my back; it hurt when I moved, shallowed or inhaled. I tried to stay calm, breathed deeply…Yet, despite the attempt to compose myself, I felt my heart beating fast, really fast. Fright was overriding me already. In my mind, I thought of calling emergency if it won’t get better after 10 minutes. At such bad timing, the cordless phone was dead; the battery went out because it wasn’t placed properly overnight. My mobile got no enough load to call either (I rarely use it now). I needed to walk out of the house and get the other phone in our stock room. Slowly, I managed to get it. All the while, the pain endured and so I decided to call 111. Talking made me more uncomfortable so I hang up the phone without much ado and quickly called hubby too. I briefly told him about my condition and said “I love you” which got me really teary-eyed. I questioned: Is this it, Lord? To my surprise, I didn’t panic nor resist. Call it faith or whatever, but the thought of surrendering to His will made me at peace. After 10 minutes, the ambulance came. They monitored my vital signs on our way to the hospital. My legs were wobbly but there was a great relief because oxygen in my blood was fine and my heart was beating fast but steadily. I reckon that I might have choked big time.

To cut to the chase, after 2 hours (definitely, not a short while) of pain, and x-ray exam, the pain gradually vanished. The doctor said it was kind of strange but the good news was: I’m alright…still alive and kicking =) Thank you, Lord.

Another similar but less painful incident happened again tonight with the same tablet. **darn!** Certainly, it is happening while I am writing this but I calmed myself and am waiting for it to disappear so I can have a goodnight sleep. It’s past 1am already =( **sigh**

Goodness! I guess I am ridiculously babyish or freaky to have a tablet-swallowing problem at my age. Oh pleeeeaaasseee don’t laugh at me. I’ve been trying to subjugate my psyche because I know it’s all in the mind – just plain neurosis. I’ve just read about “phagophobia” or fear of swallowing (a psychogenic dysphagia) and I think this is its milder kind. I learned that when I get nervous, the muscles of the neck and throat tense up too thus, enabling this gag reflex.

For many years, I’ve been inconsistent in my attempt to overcome this fear huhu. I can’t recall why or what triggered this trouble. This silly part of me is sooooo enduring tsk tsk

Tomorrow, I’ll try that banana trick. I hope it will work hhhmmmm…**crossing my fingers**

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